Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Turning Eleven

My baby girl, the one I rocked to sleep in my arms (even when people advised me not to), the one I kissed any chance I could, the little girl who (as my little old neighbor Stephanie would tell me), look at me with such adoration in her eyes, the little girl who I lay beside each night to talk about the day, has turned eleven. She is growing into a wonderful young lady. Well, as she would tell you, she is now a pre-teen! Yeesh!

I have to say that since about grade three, I have despised throwing her a birthday party. How on earth could I so dislike birthday party planning you ask? Well, since boys became annoying or just plain "yuck", since the girls became cliques and mean, since the theme of bowling, swimming, tea party, sleep over, have all been taken up, I am out of ideas and out of steam! I am out of gusto and excitement!

Now these days, one girl takes someone away from someone else, another girl doesn't agree or like what we planned, someone is in a bad mood, doesn't want the birthday girl to get all the attention. I don't know, you name it, it has happened!

So for Haley's birthday this year, I came up with the idea to go to the mall. I thought instead of treating them to a goody bag that they get year after year, party after party, I would treat them all to Ardene grab bags and a Starbucks hot chocolate. That would be followed by a new movie (that none of them had seen), pizza and homemade ice cream sandwich cake!

That would have been a cool thing for me to do as a kid. Not so much in this day I guess. Haley was told by one girl she didn't like Ardene's, she wanted something from another store. We were told that Frappuccinos were better than hot chocolate, our pizza was not the right kind. We were informed by one girl that she wanted to watch the movie with her mom, and there was not a unanimous decision about the movie anyway. Put 6 girls in a room and I guess that is bound to happen!

In the end, I think they all had an OK time. I couldn't tell you and I hope that was the last birthday party like that, in which I have to be a part of. You see at this point, I would rather her pick one or two really good friends and I could take them out for a trip to the mall, a movie, dinner, whatever I can to spoil just a couple or a few of them rotten! Isn't that fun? I don't know that either.

The moms had to have some fun too! Me and my friend Nikki

The problem with it all, is Haley has not found a true friend yet. She has not found that one special friend that will defend her, help dust her off when she falls, give her that favorite shirt that she knows she loves! She has not found that friend who always picks her first, can't be without her on a weekend, shares her cookies with her, and passes her notes in class.

In my life, I have been sad, I have been lonely, I have been scared, and I have been angry. But I have never been without a friend. I have never been without someone who I can confide in, who will hold my hand when I need a tender touch, give me a hug when I am in need.

I have also had a broken heart. I can tell you without a doubt that NOTHING has ever broken my heart, nearly as much, as seeing my daughter cry because she does not have that one special friend.

My girl may have a learning disability, and in many ways she may be younger than her years, but she is the most caring, kind, considerate, loving, compassionate, generous, thoughtful, helpful, happy person I know. She is way beyond her years in all of those ways. I am so proud of her for being this way. My hope is that disappointment won't take all of those wonderful qualities away from her.

Haley is a great friend, and one day she will be someones BEST friend. She may not know if yet, but I do. In her, that person will meet the one friend that will always hold her hand if she needs to feel a warm touch, the friend that will always take your call no matter what, the friend that will cry with you, laugh with you, stand up for you even if she is scared too. In her, that person will have a friend who will give you her last dollar, her last piece of chocolate (well, maybe!), the sweater she is wearing so you will be warm, a helping hand when you need it, and always, she will offer you her home. She will share with that friend, her family, her belongings, her heart.

Happy 11th year my girl! I hope it's a good one!

1 comment:

  1. That's so terrible! I can't imagine kids complaining about getting a free, fun afternoon. I'm sorry about that, but I hope that your daughter still enjoyed it. :)