For me, this week is one of them.
I am at my friendly neighborhood Starbucks writing this post, because I have a house in such disarray, that I was told I should just get out for a few hours. Against my nature, I listened.
We are having our hardwood floors re finished. This weekend I had two craft sales all day, to which my husband and daughter always attend with me (bless them!). Because they were both with me, our evenings were spent clearing our bedrooms and dining room of absolutely everything! I knew it was coming, I knew I would be banished to my basement, and I was OK with that because my craft room is in the basement. It's practically the whole basement. The problem is, I didn't expect to run out of room to put everything, and have to put "stuff" in my basement craft room. Now I can't even craft or organize, or get ready for my scrapbooking class this Friday.
So today, as my friends husband (who is working on my floors) looked at me and told me, no I would not be able to do laundry because they needed to use the dryer plug. No I should not stay in the house because it was going to be really loud, and no I didn't need to worry about anything. I could feel tears come to my eyes. I told him I had anxiety and worried about everything! Of all days not to have anything in the fridge to send for lunch with Haley, and she was coming home to eat! She would be happy with the surprise of going to the mall for lunch! I know my floors will look beautiful, so of that, I will not worry.
But I should back up a bit, to last night......
As I walked through each room of the house, this house I have only been in for a few years, I had to think.....if these bare walls could talk, what story would they tell?
I know what I could see. I could see a closet with a hole in its floor that Haley hated because she thought spiders would come in through it. I saw many coats of paint, one over the other, over the other, of all arrays of ugliness. I saw pink, orange, yellow and white. All under the now pale purple paint of Haley's room. I could see the remnants of posters ripped off the wall, bubbles in the plaster, water damage from so many years ago.
I could see ceilings that we never bothered to paint, light fixtures very unattractive, but still there. Still holding on, still a part of our home. I could see a closet with doors that barely close, dust that seems to just hang around no matter what! Closets un-painted and ugly.
I saw rooms that were neglected. Poor neglected rooms, unloved and uncared for. If these bare walls could talk, would they share their unhappiness of neglect, and their dismay of constantly being put off for another project. Put off for a rainy day that came and went. Would they be angry that the money always went to something else that seemed more of a priority?
I don't know what they would say, and clearly I know that walls don't actually talk! But these empty rooms, bare walls and dusty ceilings are our story. A story of a few short years in a home that saw so much change! But if I am thinking in metaphors anyway, I can think like this...
Our floors are being re newed, our walls will be cleaned or painted, our doors will be sanded, with new hardware and a new coat of paint. Our floors will be the foundation of a strong room surrounded by 4 walls and the protective, small barrier of a door. It could be a new start for each of these rooms, and each of us. It is not that we need a new beginning by the way, but when I think of a home that we never made a priority, our home needs a new beginning.
It is a tough time of year for us, because our yard always seems to be the place that we put our summer focus. As is only natural. But we do it in a big way. It is a big production for us. It begins with the general clean up, the afternoon bevies on the deck and a BBQ dinner. We clean up the garden and flower beds, make a list of yard projects we want to do, and plan out our camping weekends.
|Only two of the many favorites in my garden!|
Then comes the day my husband spends putting up the patio lights. The yard lights actually. We have an abundance of lights all over the yard, across the yard, sometimes along the fence, above the deck and it goes on and on. Then the gazebo goes up. In the end, on one of those beautiful spring nights, we sit back at night and bask in the light of our yard. And always it looks beautiful. Going in the house consists of walking through in muddy shoes or dirty feet to grab something we forgot. And this is the start of the lost, forgotten rooms of the house. We eat outside, we read outside, we play outside, we have hourly afternoon bevies and snacks outside. We go in to change, shower, do laundry and sleep.
|A selection of summer bevies!|
|Haley and her friend in the gazebo|
|Haley and her friends!|
I am thinking now, in silence, my husband and I both know that we have to learn balance. Balance being something I think we both struggle with. I am looking forward to it though, cleaning it all out, putting some of it back, getting rid of the things we don't want or need. It will be like a bonus New Year! Half way in to our year. We can still eat and play outside, have snacks and bevies outside, and enjoy our evening views of lovely yard lights and early evening fires! Hopefully, we will just have a more organized, patiently painted, and complete couple of inside rooms to enjoy when we do spend time in the house. And perhaps those rainy days should actually be spent on doing a project inside those walls of our home.
|Some patio lights|
|The swing that moves to a new spot each year!|