Monday, June 3, 2013

My Gaping Hole

I love visiting a new city or town, and feeling the vibe of life being lived by others. I like to imagine myself there, my life as it would be, if that city was my home. Minneapolis this past weekend was the perfect place to imagine my life being transported. One day before leaving from Minneapolis, back to my home city, I became implausibly sad. I took some time to let the feeling settle inside me, and spent many hours during sightseeing, shopping, and driving, to consider why.

The trip was great; a good time was had by all. Minneapolis is a very pretty city, and I liked it more than I thought I would. I also may have found a new favorite paper store! I actually didn’t really wonder before we left, if I would like it or not. I was quite focused on the concert I was going there for, Prince of course. A small 3000 person show in his home town! (That has to be a separate blog post though!) What did I care if I would like the city or not. I was going to see Prince in concert for the 3rd time in 2 years!

But something happened, in the light of day. I looked around and saw that in some ways, it was a city much like my own. In some ways, it was a larger scale of the small mountainside town of Peachland that I fell in love with last year.  I could feel, within me, a gaping hole. Something missing...something not found...something I long for, need, crave?

There was a very pretty area that we went to on our second last day, the Lake Calhoun area. When we got there, my breath caught in my throat. Not because of its beauty. I have seen beautiful places before, in my ever favorite Rocky Mountains, the beaches of Hawaii, Jamaica, the forest and trees in our camping region, the soft silence and untouched beauty of the area I tree planted in as an 18 year old. I have seen many beautiful places, and that was not what caused my breath to be caught.

My daughter was with me the day I proclaimed that I loved Peachland so much I wanted to move there. She was with me in the water when she asked me, was it my dream to live there? She heard my reply that I was meant to live near beauty.

This day, in Minneapolis, as I stepped out of my vehicle, I looked at her and told her I had that same feeling that I had that day in Peachland.

I was meant to live near beauty.

Thanks for stopping by!



  1. Hear you loud & clear. Having tea and writing in my journal, sitting on the deck in Bowser, BC & looking out at the Strait of Georgia, I cried. It reminded me of our great provincial parks here and I felt at home. At peace.

  2. Thanks so much for reading! I love that feeling of being at peace! Have a lovely day!