I started a new writing course, Story 101, which will continue for ten weeks. In these 10 weeks, my plan is to use this blog as my writing place. We have a syllabus for our ten weeks, full of writing prompts, blog analysis, activities, books we need to read. I may be a bit crazy to be doing this right now, in the busy summer months, but all of my months are busy. No time like now.
The first food for thought presented to us; “why am I taking this course, do I have a story unfolding?”
We all have a story, don’t we?
For the last four days on the beach, there was this anonymous man, sitting there in his chair. He would sit alone, drinking a beer or two. When the heat became too much or the water beckoned him, he would retreat to the water for a swim. On and on, day after day, my curious eyes would watch him, my heart felt warm towards him. We have now progressed, him and I, from a friendly nod of acknowledgement to a hello and finally an exchange of names and a conversation. He even offered to take a picture of my family.
Today, I glanced back at him. Tibor is his name. No doubt he was handsome in his day. Now he has silver hair, likely in his 60’s, a fit, tanned man. As I glimpse at him, I wonder about him, what is Tibor’s story? Is there a Mrs. or is she gone. Does he have children, grandchildren? Is he sad? What does he think about all those hours?
Tibor has a story.
I have a story.
We all have a story. Some of us want to tell it. Some of us need to tell it. Some would rather their stories didn’t exist in their form.
But...we all matter and each and every one of our stories matter.
I may find out through Story 101 that I began this course to tell my story. Maybe it is to see if I have the courage to use my authentic voice. I am taking this course to learn; from myself and others as we become brave worriers in our own right.
I am taking this course to find my heart, become alive in places I fear I have died.
As we build a community and rally around each other, I hope to share my stories and find my authentic voice which these days, seems to be silent.
Most of all, I want to write.
I want to dig into the crevices of me, deep and dark, bright and wild.
I want to write.
You may choose to read or you may not. It is ok either way. You may be intrigued by my journey or bored. Either way, it is ok.
I do know that in my writing I will grow, I will find beauty, I will be beautiful. If in some small way, by being me, I have touched someone deep inside their crevices, helped someone feel love, make them smile or help them feel a sense of connection, my words will have been worth it.
Story 101 is just another one of my journeys, to my final destination.
I hope that without judgement, you will join me in reading about my journey. Perhaps you will begin to or continue to find your voice to your own story unfolding.
My biggest barrier, as I take this course, is going to be fear. I’m ashamed to say that sometimes, fear rules me. What am I afraid of? Well, sometimes I am afraid of the fact that no one truly knows me, and in writing and sharing, people may finally get to know me. What if knowing me means not loving me?
I am afraid to dream my dreams, because of fear of success. What if achieving my dreams means leaving others behind? I am afraid of the crippling guilt of being selfish.
Finally, I am afraid, that I actually will find my voice and in doing so, I will split myself wide open, gaping wounds and all, for all to know, for all to see, for all to judge and for all to question. I am afraid to find the answer to my burning question: How can I feel like something is absent, when I am so happy?
How will I manage these obstacles? With the faith and belief that all of this will happen and I will be loved anyway, I will still be happy and maybe even happier still.
I will manage these obstacles by the simple knowledge that I am who I am for a reason, that my stories, my life, and my love, is meant to be shared. I believe that beauty can indeed be something that can be felt in my heart and not just seen.
This is the truth. The truth shall set us free – right?
My truth will take courage, vulnerability and love.
I am about to embrace my story unfolding!
Thanks for stopping by.