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I was thinking today about a day in October that went something like this.......
While getting dressed in what I thought was the privacy of my own bedroom, Haley walked in. "Mom, you have holes in your underwear!" I looked down, yes I did in fact have two holes at the waist of my panties. With a little bit of embarrassment, and a bit of humiliation, I said to her "yes honey, I guess I need to buy some new underwear don't I?"
The rest of that day, I could not get that scene out of my mind. I kept on thinking about how sad it was really, to continue to wear underwear with holes in them. After all, I know I had been wearing them like that for nearly a month. I would never let Haley wear underwear with holes in them. Dave and I joke about how weird it is that I only have a one week supply of underwear. He asks me why I don't buy myself new ones. At one point in time, all I ever bought was panties! He would always be asking me "how many panties does one woman need?"
So on this particular day, I was wondering why I don't go out and buy myself some new panties. The reasons are plenty really. For starters, it would mean having to think about what size I would have to get. That would be medium instead of the small I once was. Strike one!
I would have to consider what style. Could I pull off the boy cut? I hardly think so. What about bikini. Well where would the little bulge of my tummy go? I hate when my panties end up falling to the line of my scar from my c-section. But if I lost a few pounds I wouldn't have to worry about that. Strike two!
I guess it would have to be the high cut. But the nice high cut ones, not like the granny pantie kind of high cut that the old ladies wear!
What color would I get, oh and how much do I want to spend? Which brings me to the next strike. Money. I am no longer working, no longer a contributing money provider to our household. And please note here, that I say money provider. Because I am the provider of MANY things. Just not regular money!
So spending money on panties seems so selfish, so expensive. Strike number three! Then I get flustered, and go grocery shopping and buy myself another magazine, adding to the already ninety eight magazines I have at home! All the while, saying to myself, "I'll buy panties next week."
Later that week I actually earned some money on a special order of handcrafted cards that someone requested I make. So you know what I did? I bought myself new panties! And a magazine, oh and a few craft supplies!
With my new purchase in hand, I did not feel special, I did not feel like I broke the bank, and I certainly did not feel buyers remorse. I did however feel very pleased when I was getting dressed the next day that my choice of underwear did not have any holes in them. Those babies went in the garbage! This was my own private knowledge as I walked down the street, head held a little higher. We women all deserve new underwear! It just makes us feel better!
I have often gone over it in my head, about taking better care of myself. From getting my hair cut and colored on a regular basis, doing yoga more often, getting exercise in general more often, and eating healthier. I suppose wearing undergarments that are free of holes is an essential part of the whole, "taking better care of myself" idea.
Perhaps this is a start! Maybe next week I'll replace the bra with the protruding under wire!