Questions Answered - Story 101

Something interesting was presented to us in my Story 101 class, a group of questions for us to answer, adapted from Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way. I have not read the book yet, but it is on my list. I do know it is a book that has helped many people discover–and recover– their creativity. It's a book for those wishing to experience more creativity in their lives.

I like this idea, I have seen it on other blogs in their "about" page, a list of things that readers may find interesting to know about the blogger, or a way to get to know them better.

I always thought that two of the things I would list if I was to do this kind of "about me" page would be; a phobia I have: grasshoppers! What can you always be guaranteed to find when you come to my house: my vacuum in the middle of the floor in one of  my rooms! I have 4 pets so I vacuum up to 3 times a day most days. I like to have it handy. Granted, having it in the middle of the kitchen or living room is not ideal, but it's handy if I find a fur ball!

Anyway, I digress. So here it is, I wanted to participate and blog the answers to the questions listed for us.


1. My favorite childhood toy was...
Cats! I know they are not a toy, but I would go into the closet when I had a cat who had babies, (and yes it happened often!) and I would grab my moms knitting needles and pretend to be their teacher! I would use the knitting needles to point at the one who should answer the questions! Weird I know. Barbie's were a close second!

2. My favorite childhood game was...
Monopoly or hide and seek.

 3. The best movie I ever saw as a kid was...
E.T. It was my first movie in a theatre. When I was 10 or 12, I can't remember, Purple Rain became THE movie that would change my life. So dramatic, I know, but it's how I felt at the time.

 4. I don't do it much but I enjoy...
A good food fight! Me and one of my brothers were famous for our food fights!

 5. If I could lighten up a little, I'd let myself...
Give in to taking risks!

 6. If it weren't too late, I'd...
Travel the world, living in other countries for a time and moving on.

 7. My favorite musical instrument is...
I don't play an instrument, but I love the sound of the drums, and piano. Also the acoustic guitar.

 8. The amount of money I spend on treating myself to entertainment each month is...
Good question. Coffee is a big one for me, craft supplies, baking supplies, travel to Prince concerts, yikes, it's a good thing I don't really keep track.

 9. If I weren't so stingy with my artist, I'd buy her...
Her own studio with lots of windows, natural light, and a view to die for!

 10. Taking time out for myself is...
writing, sitting still in nature and staring, swimming into deep water.

 11. I am afraid that if I start dreaming...
I may finally take a risk that would change the course of my life forever.

 12. I secretly enjoy reading...
I don't "secretly" enjoy anything, but I do love to read books that sometimes are a bit easy to read, with a good story, the ones you can finish in a day if you took the time. I do have an addiction to magazines. If I had the money, I would buy one of every magazine on every topic. But then I would need the time to read them all. I have piles of magazines I have not gotten to, or that I save for that one story I wanted to re read!

 13. If I had a perfect childhood I'd have grown up to be...
Oh, the list could be endless, a rocker chic, a better wife, a photographer for National Geographic. Or I would still be me, just the way I am. Childhood made me who I am, but it didn't keep me where I once was. Change and growth, can be a beautiful thing!

 14. If it didn't sound so crazy, I'd write or make a...
I would write a self dictated Biography of Prince. I find him fascinating, and would love to know his musically genius mind.

 15. My parents think artists are...
I have no idea what my mother would think artists are. Perhaps I should ask her.

 16. I believe God thinks artists are...
People who reach the souls of others.

 17. What makes me feel weird about this course is...
Opening up to strangers.

 18. Learning to trust myself is probably...
The best thing I could ever learn to do.

 19. My most cheer-me-up music is...
Anything that makes me move, dance and be silly!

 20. My favorite way to dress is...
This is a loaded question, because I do not dress in my favorite way. I have no idea how others would view how I currently dress, I have been told I am classic in my style. My favorite is Bohemian. Not that I would ever need to wear one, but I would love to be able to pull off a gown and heals!

There it is. So people who know me, did you learn anything new?

Wow, I encourage you to jot this down for yourself and answer the questions, the answers came so much easier to me than I thought!

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by!

Tannis

Story 101

I started a new writing course, Story 101, which will continue for ten weeks. In these 10 weeks, my plan is to use this blog as my writing place. We have a syllabus for our ten weeks, full of writing prompts, blog analysis, activities, books we need to read. I may be a bit crazy to be doing this right now, in the busy summer months, but all of my months are busy. No time like now.

The first food for thought presented to us; “why am I taking this course, do I have a story unfolding?”

We all have a story, don’t we?

For the last four days on the beach, there was this anonymous man, sitting there in his chair. He would sit alone, drinking a beer or two. When the heat became too much or the water beckoned him, he would retreat to the water for a swim. On and on, day after day, my curious eyes would watch him, my heart felt warm towards him. We have now progressed, him and I, from a friendly nod of acknowledgement to a hello and finally an exchange of names and a conversation. He even offered to take a picture of my family.

Today, I glanced back at him. Tibor is his name. No doubt he was handsome in his day. Now he has silver hair, likely in his 60’s, a fit, tanned man. As I glimpse at him, I wonder about him, what is Tibor’s story? Is there a Mrs. or is she gone. Does he have children, grandchildren? Is he sad? What does he think about all those hours?

Tibor has a story.

I have a story.

We all have a story. Some of us want to tell it. Some of us need to tell it. Some would rather their stories didn’t exist in their form.

But...we all matter and each and every one of our stories matter.

I may find out through Story 101 that I began this course to tell my story. Maybe it is to see if I have the courage to use my authentic voice. I am taking this course to learn; from myself and others as we become brave worriers in our own right.

I am taking this course to find my heart, become alive in places I fear I have died.

As we build a community and rally around each other, I hope to share my stories and find my authentic voice which these days, seems to be silent.

Most of all, I want to write.

I want to dig into the crevices of me, deep and dark, bright and wild.

I want to write.

You may choose to read or you may not. It is ok either way. You may be intrigued by my journey or bored. Either way, it is ok.

I do know that in my writing I will grow, I will find beauty, I will be beautiful. If in some small way, by being me, I have touched someone deep inside their crevices, helped someone feel love, make them smile or help them feel a sense of connection, my words will have been worth it.

Story 101 is just another one of my journeys, to my final destination.

I hope that without judgement, you will join me in reading about my journey. Perhaps you will begin to or continue to find your voice to your own story unfolding.

My biggest barrier, as I take this course, is going to be fear. I’m ashamed to say that sometimes, fear rules me. What am I afraid of? Well, sometimes I am afraid of the fact that no one truly knows me, and in writing and sharing, people may finally get to know me. What if knowing me means not loving me?

I am afraid to dream my dreams, because of fear of success. What if achieving my dreams means leaving others behind? I am afraid of the crippling guilt of being selfish.

Finally, I am afraid, that I actually will find my voice and in doing so, I will split myself wide open, gaping wounds and all, for all to know, for all to see, for all to judge and for all to question. I am afraid to find the answer to my burning question: How can I feel like something is absent, when I am so happy?

How will I manage these obstacles? With the faith and belief that all of this will happen and I will be loved anyway, I will still be happy and maybe even happier still.

I will manage these obstacles by the simple knowledge that I am who I am for a reason, that my stories, my life, and my love, is meant to be shared. I believe that beauty can indeed be something that can be felt in my heart and not just seen.

This is the truth. The truth shall set us free – right?

My truth will take courage, vulnerability and love.

I am about to embrace my story unfolding!

Thanks for stopping by.

 

Tannis

A Day of Feeling Full on Gratitude.

Gratitude.


I am feeling grateful today to a few people who have helped me, or inspired me along the way.

When I began my blog, I was not sure what all my reasons were in beginning this journey. I knew that it would all come to fruition at some point. What I do know now, is what I love about blogging. Here are a few of those things.

Community

 I have met a whole community of great bloggers, and writers alike. I have made invaluable online friends, and connections, worldwide. That is amazing to me! To think that I have written with and linked up with people from Canada, to the USA to the UK, all in a day’s work! People I admire, people who inspire me, people I enjoy connecting with!  These people have encouraged me, given me invaluable feedback and supported me, at times when it was difficult to find it close to home with friends, family and acquaintances.

Learning and Growth

Trying to build a blog is not an effortless thing to do. Creating a blog, updating it, learning about new buttons, current changes, updates to programs....not really my cup of tea. I am not the savviest person in the world when it comes to technology, I can hardly use my cell phone properly, and I don’t own an IPod, IPad or IPhone! Keeping up with two blogs, learning it all on my own, and with the help of some great blogging sites, I do an ok job of learning something new every day. I love the challenge that blogging offers, and I thrive on the knowledge that it is a never ending growth.

Documenting a Journey

Documenting our life on my blog will be a way for my daughter to know me, and read my thoughts and feelings, when the time is right. In my writing, she will ascertain how I view life, she will know how much I love her, she will learn about me, and my complexity.  I hope all of it will encourage her to be her own person and not conform to anyone’s vision of her, including my own.

I have had the pleasure of participating in writing groups, writing classes, writing challenges and online forums with some amazing people. Here are some links to just some of them. I am grateful to them, and I hope that you will enjoy their stories, their writings, what they have to offer.

Through the Momoir Project, I have shared the trial and error that comes with writing our stories. A few of us have been published here, and I wanted to share a few of my favorites, all though there are many more here if you check out the site.

A funny spin on getting your husband to pick up his own laundry – The Laundry Fairy. Oh, and getting “fancy”, or not! -  Time to get Fancy

A woman who inspires me with anything I have read of hers – A Room of My Own

How do you really answer the questions of lyrics sung by LMFAO – The Battle of LMFAO

The truth about real beauty – Smart and Beautiful

Don’t be in a hurry to let your kids grow up – Rushing Through the Baby Years

Please, come back to this page when you have time, save it to your favorites, click on the links, check out the sites, read the stories, they are really good. Honest, I would not stear you wrong!

Thanks for stopping by!

Journaling

I am curious to know people, do you journal? Do you write down words in a favorite notebook you have, or a journal that you picked up with a pretty cover, one made out of funky paper, an inspirational quote?

I am curious to know! I wholeheartedly believe in the power of writing down your feelings, your thoughts, your goals and your memories. I know it is not for everyone, I get that. I know people who can go on and on about the benefits of running, of eating fish 3 times a week, tanning beds. It doesn’t mean that it’s for me, but I find what they have to say interesting none the less. We all have, hopefully, something we partake in, that helps us feel better, heals our pain, and acts as our therapy.

For me, a few things do that: gardening, working with paper, and writing. I have kept most of my journals, and I can say I honestly wish I kept them all. There was the occasional one that got burned, ripped up, or something equally dramatic. I was a teenager, so I am not expected to even understand myself why I did that right! Every couple of years, and sometimes more frequently, I will take a whole day, and go through my old journals. I did this before I made my decision to get divorced, and yes, it seems to be something I do when I am about to make a big life decision. It amazes me how I can write the same complaints in my journal, sometimes for years, without ever doing anything to change that particular complaint into a better outcome. I think the reason is this; when we have a frustration, a hurt, a challenge, we can tell ourselves anything we want to hear. We can say it over and over and over in our head, to justify, convincing ourselves, to feel better. And the circle goes on and on, never ending. However, when you write it down, the truth, absolute truth, without worry of spelling errors, worry of someone else to judge, something happens; we are honest with ourselves. We are so honest that it can be frightening, it can be inspirational, and it can be exactly what we need to see the truth! Right there in front of us.

If you have never written in a journal, I would love to be your encouragement to give it a try. Don`t let it replace anything you do, but let it be something that you give yourself. Let your journal, be a voice clear of judgement, full of truth, and the friend that you need when maybe you feel alone. Try it. Hide it if you have to; keep it with you all the time, just like your phone!

I have another reason for being moved to write about journals today. I received an e mail, from a woman I know, someone who is becoming a friend. She buys custom journals from me for her company, and puts together some wonderful gift packages. This is the e mail she sent to me....

I just wanted to let you know that one of your journals made a bunch of women happy, the givers, the receiver and also the people that witnessed.

A lady lost her husband a few months ago. Now she has been diagnosed with cancer. Your journal was given as part of a “Cheer” package. My customer LOVED the package I put together for her and I know that everyone that sees the package will love it also. I can imagine the lady carrying the journal with her during all her hospital visits. Because it is so beautiful and she will feel the need to be close to something pretty.

Thanks for what you do!!

It made me happy to get that e mail, proud that someone loved something I made, appreciation that someone took the time to let me know.

I know that one day, when I am writing my own book, I will pull out those journals for some creative inspiration, and for the memories I have chosen to forget, or the ones that are a little fuzzy and require a little bit of focus.

So, I journal, but do tell, what is it that you do that helps you to cope and be sane in a world that at times can rip the rug from under your feet.

Tannis

At the Dinner Table

My dining room is not really a dining room at all. In its original form, it was a bedroom, a small 10 x 10 room that I turned into a dining room. There is no door, just an open, white trim doorway. The one time closet is now an inset with dark wood shelving from near top to bottom, that houses my pretty dishes and glasses, the walls inside, painted a dark burgundy colour. The window is rather large, takes up nearly the whole wall, with just a white lace valance. On a good, sunny day, this window splashes light on my terracotta colored walls, my dark wooden table and four black leather chairs. On the opposite wall of my window, I have two shelves that hold my many cookbooks, baking books, magazines and a few sun loving plants. My placemats have burgundy, terracotta, burnt orange and olive green stripes, with small glass beads at the edges. They are a beautiful compliment to my warm, sunny, comforting dining room.



Can you see it? Can you feel the sunshine warming your face?



I can. It is my favourite place to write, gather with my small family, have an afternoon coffee or glass of wine, and all too often, my favourite place to put way too many papers that clutter up the table and take away my serenity!



We eat at the dinner table often. My daughter is in charge of setting the table. She decides who will sit where, and sometimes, she writes our names on a piece of paper, a small offering of kindness to know that in this designated spot, we are welcome to sit and enjoy our meal.



Sometimes our dinner table is lively with laughter, talk of the day, upcoming plans we may have. It is also where we make new plans, discuss how we want to spend our summer vacation, making the occasional list. However, sometimes, if one of us is having a bad day, or not feeling well, our table is not so lively, it's a bit more hushed, turning sometimes into a silence that can be uncomfortable and broken by the drop of a fork, or a smile.



This other dinner table is in the large kitchen, just off to the corner in a little nook area, built specifically for a small table. There sits a table, wooden I think, oblong in shape, with five vinyl covered chairs with chrome legs. The double kitchen sink, is in plain view, and has directly above it, a big window that has a view of the apple tree in our backyard. I don't know if the sun ever did shine in that window, but I know that my mom sure looked out of it a lot. I always thought she must love doing dishes, because she was there so many times a day, wearing always, an apron around her waist that she had made. I sat at the dinner table, just to be near my mom, and I watched her in the kitchen so often, I memorized her moves.



It is at that same dinner table where I remember there was not always laughter, sharing of everyone's day, or kindness. I do remember fear, I remember respect, the formality of a saying by my dad, and I hate to this day, "well if that's dinner, I guess we've had it!" I remember a time that our plates were picked up and smashed into the kitchen sink, soiled still, with a dinner we did not get to finish, left for my mom to clean up. Someone must have disliked something served that night for dinner.



When we did finally move away from my dad, and joined my sister’s dinner table, we discovered lively conversation, around a dinner table big enough to fit our family and the friends we brought home from school. Around that table is where we ate, we laughed, we drank our coffee and we visited, oh we always visited around that table. That table saw lover’s quarrels, family fights, discussions, it held the games we played, the homework we did, and once even held my mom sprawled out on it posing for a picture with the family around her. We grew to have fun around our dinner table, and as teenagers, we ate there nearly every night and without fail, every Sunday!



I want our girls to feel that our dinner table is a safe place, a time to share, to ask questions, to laugh, make a joke, to compliment the cook on the hard work and love that went into creating the meal, no matter how simple or fancy. (Wow do I wish they actually did this!) I look forward to the day that I have a large enough dining rooms that will fit a table big enough for our two grown girls and one day, their family, and a whole lot of love and laughter! These are the things I want our girls to know about our dinner table.